Walking in love

I stopped watching the news about two years ago. I found myself at times overwhelmed by all the violence, hate, and destruction reported, analyzed and almost celebrated on our news channels and ultimately in our homes. The "news" often left me anxious, depressed and hopeless.  Now, there's nothing wrong with watching or reading the news; but, I have chosen not to begin and end my day with these (primarily ratings-driven) stories to protect my peace of mind.

Yet, as unimaginable acts of violence continue to pervade our family dinner tables and workplace halls, I realize that there is nowhere I can really run or hide from what is happening in the world today.  What I can do is refocus my attention. 

Violence is a direct result of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of others and ultimately fear that we are not enough. Yet, we know that the opposite of fear is love. 

Yes, love is the antidote.  Perfect love drives out fear.

Now, bear with me. I know this sounds cliche. Some would say it's not realistic. What about what he/she did? What about the pain they caused. Justice should be done.  Evil must be rebuked.  Love? That's too easy. Too...spiritual?

Ironic given that many of the folks who have a problem with resolving violence through love consider themselves people of faith.

Yet, if we are going to really walk this walk, then we must defend Love.

So, rather than focusing on what is happening "out there" - and all the anger, fear, anxiety and judgment  I then direct into the world -- I can start to examine what is going on inside of me.

Love is not merely a word, a feeling or passive inaction.  Love is the foundation of our true selves.  And being Love is an everyday act of faith in God that we are who He says we are.
In Romans 12, Paul writes about love in action:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

Later, Paul writes that "[w]e who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. . . .  May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

In 1 John 2, we are later cautioned that "[a]nyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.  Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.  But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them." Without love, we are walking blindly in the dark, stumbling, confused, afraid and wondering what has gone wrong with the world.

But I want to be in the light! In love, we are complete. Made perfect. In intimacy with God. Full of His Spirit.

Dear Lord, as we enter a new season, I pray that accept the truth of who we really are, which is the embodiment of Divine Love.  That we are strengthened to share that love fully, openly and courageously as we embody the example that You have set before us. That we accept each other, as one body, unified in Your name. Glorifying You always, Amen.

You don't have to bear it alone

Last week, I wrote about the importance of maintaining peace with each other. This week, I had the opportunity to reflect again on why our spiritual bond is so important. It has been a tough week for me. The past two years in fact have really stretched me spiritually. In fact, the very things I have been writing about here -- understanding who we are, trusting God, surrendering -- are teachings I am grappling with myself. Experience is indeed the best teacher! But through the highs and lows of life (all relative!), I am grateful that we never have to bear it alone.

Along life's journey, I have been so blown away by the support and love received from those God has placed in my life.  It is a blessing I am learning to access more and more.

A little over a year ago, I came across a passage in Acts that really touched my soul:

The Fellowship of the Believers: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47).

What a wonderful example of how we are called to be with each other! Full of joy, breaking bread together, praying with and serving each other.  Notice how out of this love and support of each other, great miracles and favor resulted.  This was a reminder to me that, while we all have our unique paths and must be careful to stay focused on God's will (and not the opinions of others), the power of God is magnified when we operate in unity (remember it is not about you!). From Him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament,grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

But we're so resistant to reaching out to each other. We have our pride. We feel like we ought to be able to handle it on our own. We are ashamed. We don't want to even say out loud what we are experiencing because then it will be too real. Or we feel like whatever hurt, confusion, or distress we are experiencing is not worthy of conversation. We don't want people to know what's really going on in our lives for fear they will not love us. We feel like we have failed. We've been living a lie and we don't want the truth to come out. We don't need or deserve anyone's help. 

All lies we tell ourselves.

Thankfully, God in His infinite love and grace understands that we cannot do it alone. Search Description Even Moses needed help! When Moses cried out, God responded. All Moses had to do was bring his burden to God and God surrounded him with the support he needed. You see, God does not intend for you to operate in the world on your own strength and doing. He wants us to love and support each other; for, if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us . . . for whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them.

So when you feel alone, remember you are not. Give your burdens to God. He will either open your eyes to the people in your life you've been resisting or bring new relationships into your life at just the right time. (Thank God for the "strangers" that  "coincidentally" have come into my life with just the right message/confirmation/resource/push I needed at that time!).

Jesus' prayer for all believers was that we all be brought to complete unity -- "then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." Thank you God for the people you have blessed us with to help us carry out our purpose. Thank you for loving us enough to do so.

Living in peace with each other

Like many of us in this country and abroad, I have been struck by the divisiveness that has overtaken our political decisions. I have stopped watching the news. It even pains me sometimes to read online articles and blogs because the comments sections are so full of venom.  The post might be on a topic that seemingly has nothing to do with politics and before you know it someone draws out a thread that spins into a heated, cutthroat attack on another's views.

Now many of us will say, "I just have a strong belief but I would never set out to hurt someone. I am just passionate about my viewpoint."

But what if what you consider "just passion" and "healthy debate" is really causing another pain? How do you draw the line?

I will speak from experience. The other day a friend of mine was sharing with me how her family is struggling to accept some of the lifestyle choices of her brother. They have chosen not to meet certain people in his life or engage in certain conversations with him because of their disapproval.

Now, because I love my friend, it pained me to hear how hurt she and her family were. I also felt great empathy for her brother. I immediately started telling my friend that her family needed to surrender this situation to God in prayer and continue to show love to her brother.  Something in the way I delivered my message caused her to start becoming  upset. She said she felt like I was saying that she and her family do not love her brother. On the contrary, I was trying to say that because they love her brother, they have to let go. But this caused us to go down a whole "debate" of what love means, what it means to judge and/or correct others, and whether her brother's actions were "wrong" in the first place.

Now a part of me knew we were just going in circles. We were just repeating each other's points, talking past each other, and often making the same point (just in our different ways). But I could feel my voice getting louder, my responses becoming more clipped, my tone more self-righteous or sarcastic as I dismissed her points and suggested scriptures and various readings her family should study.

I later attempted to apologize. Typing this now, I'm like whoa, how did I even get there?

I could look to different experiences in my life that made this  tendency to become combative  easy to latch onto. I could say that my friend pushed my buttons, that I was tired that day and lacked the patience required for the conversation. I could say it was a sensitive topic that evoked emotions.  And those might reasons - but not excuses.

A renewed mind is not stuck on old habits and behaviors. Each day is a new day to try something different. Fortunately, that opportunity to try always comes again!

The Word exhorts us to:

• bear with one another in love 
• make every effort  to do what leads to peace and mutual edification
• build each other up
• accept each other as Christ accepts us 
• be humble and gentile

So how do we do this? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

1) You are a reflection of God. You are made in His image. You may be the only expression of God that a person encounters in any given day. Through your deeds, you exhibit God to others. So, what are you showing them?

2) Each  of us is a unique work of art. God tells us that we are His masterpieces. But each of us were formed intricately with our own individual paths to him. Look around and you can see the great diversity of God's creation. It is a fact that people will have different opinions, beliefs, paths, trials, victories, thoughts, and interests from yours. We are all being molded by the one true Potter. Might you be interrupting the process by insisting that people think and believe the way you do. "Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand."

Remember, God is still working on you too! (I know that is hard for some of us to admit ;))

3) We are One body, united in Spirit, in love. Ephesians 2 reminds us that we are all members of the same one household, a holy temple, being built together to be a dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. Later in that chapter we are told to be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

One way I have learned to build this unity and break a me-versus-them pattern, is to really imagine myself as the other person. What must he/she/they be thinking? Is there a reason that could explain this? How might I also react if I felt that way, held those beliefs, had been through that experience? What would I have needed or wanted? When you pause and start to ask yourself those questions, it becomes much easier to see how you and others are so much more the same. We all have the same fears and pain at some level. And for all of us love is the antidote!  Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

A few months ago, I found myself in a really negative space with a co-worker. Because I didn't allow myself to understand her, I judged. But one day I decided to break the pattern between us. Rather than reacting and perpetuating our cycle of sniping, I stopped. I tried to look at the situation from her perspective, seeing her in the best light I could. I found myself finally empathizing with her. I reached out to her to let her know that I was on her side and wanted to work together to resolve the issues she was having. Since then, our interaction has made a complete turnaround.

4) We are saved to do good . . . not harm by trying to ram our beliefs down people's throat. In Titus 3, Paul writes that we must "be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone." He reminds us that there were times when we too acted foolishly, were disobedient, and were deceived. We hated and were hated by others. BUT when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us not because of anything we had done but because of His mercy. (Can I get an Amen!) Justified by His grace, we are now made known of our inheritance. As Kingdom-builders, we must be careful then to devote ourselves to doing what is good. Specifically, Paul writes that we must "avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless." 

When we keep love in our hearts, the result is pure bliss. (Believe me that this lesson is as much for me as you!)

As it relates to my friend, I can see now that all I had to do was listen, show empathy for the pain she was feeling, and pray for her, her family, and myself to seek God's wisdom and trust Him to act in the situation.   

Lord, help us to reflect your love to all of our brothers and sisters.  Let us not tear each other down but rather continuously seek to lift each other up to the high places to which You have called us. Amen.

It's not about you

Part of our journey is realizing that it's not about us, not individually that is. Pause for one second and breathe that in. It. is. not. about. ME. 

What a shift! Our entire culture is me, me, me, me. Yet, with all the focus on self-satisfaction, have you noticed how no one is all that happy or satisfied? Our very souls are crying out for more.

Have you found yourself in a place where you are asking, what else? Maybe you have finally come to the conclusion that all these efforts to please yourself only result in temporal good feelings. But that emptiness or that yearning is always present.

To lose this notion of the individual I, me, the self, is actually to know that you are more. It is to know that you are a child of God with a power burning brightly within you that is greater than you. But this power is not just for your use, but for All. Many scriptures talk about selflessness and uniting with your spiritual brothers and sisters to be of one heart and mind -- Acts 4:32, Rom 15:6, 2 Cor 13:11, Phil 2:2. The something else you're missing is an understanding of our collective purpose in rebuilding the kingdom of God as One.

Now, please don't confuse what I mean by kingdom-building. This is not another us against them war to be waged. This is about helping each other to see who we really are, the way God sees us. That is Love. See, we have to flip our old understandings on their heads. This is why the Bible talks so much about renewing your mind.  Colossians 3:22 tells us to set our minds on things above not on earthly things. Notice that "set" is an active verb; that means we have a choice of where we allow our mind to go! To set our minds on God means we're not focused on all the junk of this world -- fear, anxiety, shame, guilt, anger -- because we know who God is and that He is in us.

By focusing on Him, we can instead be lead by His Spirit -- walking in love, joy, peace and all the promises of God that are our inheritance. "For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. . . . The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Chirst." (Romans 8:14-17).

It is time for us to reclaim who we really are -- to be made new in the attitude of our minds by letting go of this false notion of self. The truth is that I and you and God are all connected as ONE. When you say no to (the limited) self and yes to God (the all and all; His creation, His will, His purpose), than you are embodying your true identity.  

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?(Matthew 16: 24-26).

Are you ready to lose yourself?