Finding God in the wilderness

A friend mentioned to me, almost offhandedly, something about entering his wilderness years.  At the time, I didn't really understand what he was talking about.  But hours after that, the word wilderness kept penetrating my spirit.  As I started to meditate more on what it means to be in the wilderness...the searching, the testing, the fear, the courage, the immense faith required, the understanding of one's smallness as well as one's connection to something greater...I realized how powerful and rich this experience can be if we open ourselves to it.

The wilderness period is not uncommon.  We find this stage in our sacred and cultural texts as well as in our everyday lives.  At first, the wilderness can be very frightening.  How did I get here?  What am I supposed to do?  Can I survive?  Where is everyone?  Where is God? 

But, what if, we could get past the fear and see this as the opportunity to deepen our understanding of who God is, and thus, who We are.  What if we used the wilderness as an opportunity to learn what it means to surrender control and trust God? 

I flash-backed to an experience when I was literally in the wilderness.  My best friend and I, both of us searching and trying to understand what God was doing in our lives, decided to take a day off and go to this open land in the woods that a small church owned and maintained specifically for others to find quiet time with God.  My friend and I fasted for the day, in expectancy of what we might learn.  In silence, we walked the grounds of this place.  I found myself drawn to a small lake, and as I departed from my friend to go there, he passed me his bible.  I sat by the lake, waiting for something.  This was the year that I first began questioning what it is that my life is about.  The first time I started to feel that something wasn't quite right.  That I was still somehow in the dark.  That there was something more  I wasn't embodying.  I wanted to be free. 

It began to rain.  I opened my bible to Psalm 29, which reads: ". . . The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders . . . The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic.  The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars . . . The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning.  The voice of the Lord shakes the desert [the wilderness] . . . The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forests bare.  And in his temple all cry, 'Glory!' The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; the Lord is enthroned as King forever.  The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

God reminded me then and now of both His wondrous power and His love for me.  He let me know that He is ruler over all things; and that, no matter what I may experience, He will forever give me His strength and peace.

Paul writes "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  This one sentence lets us know that 1) God is working on our behalf, 2) whatever he is doing is for our good, 3) we are all called, and 4) we all have purpose.  

What if we really believed that?

Recently, I found myself thinking, I wonder what God is going to do about . . . Not in the usual, oh my God! What are you going to do?!?!?!?!?!  (while pulling my hair out :)).  But, almost laughing to myself, with wonderment and expectation.  Wow, God, I wonder. 

You see, when you change your perspective, you change your experience.   

We all know the story of Moses bringing the Israelites out of Egypt. They were to enter the Promised Land.  On their way to the promises, they experienced God performing wondrous signs and miracles. Yet, still they feared; still they lacked faith.  After years of enslavement, they did not believe they were worthy enough to ever be free.  They wanted to go back to the way things used to be.  That pain and suffering was what they were accustomed to.  They couldn’t fully believe in the future that was theirs, even when it was right in front of them for the taking. 

But the discomfort they experienced in the wilderness, this discomfort of transition, was a temporary passage on the grand journey of their lives.   

When an assembly of men went to explore the Promised Land, they reported that in fact it was the land God was sending to them.  But rather than seeing their destiny, the very promises of God, they saw only the challenges that needed to be overcome to get there.

Yet, the Word of God declares the we are overcomers.  By faith, we overcome anything that comes our way, knowing that anything obstacle, any block in our path has already been overcome by the One who has power over all.

Later, I will  talk more about how we begin to change our perception, to change our stories.  For now, I pray that we begin to believe in our very souls that God is our watchman.  Lord, we thank you that our help comes from you; that at all times and in all places, you provide a shade of protection around us and keep our foot from slipping on the path.

Rest from the busyness of life

I have to admit that it has been hard for me to keep up with writing here in the midst of the holiday season. At the end of December, I was caught up in the frenzy of tying up loose ends at work, preparing to travel to another part of the country, joining the crowds of last minute shoppers in the annual exchange of currency and finding time to reconnect with friends and family. But as I approached the beginning of a new year, one of the greatest gifts I gave to myself was time.

After a week spent in my hometown, I returned to my apartment; and, for another week, I rarely left my apartment. The few times I did leave were never further than a one-mile radius. I journaled for what seemed like hours, touching areas of my heart I had not yet given myself the space to be with. I prayed and meditated about my wounds and my dreams, wrapping myself in love. In my apartment, I sang loudly and off-tune and did yoga in my underwear. I cried. Sobbed even, until my whole body rocked.

For a week, I allowed myself to just truly be.

On New Year's Eve, I woke up and had the strongest sense of gratitude for everything and every person that has been in my life. As I was praising God in my living room, I was overcome with complete certainty that everything I desire, is already given. Everything I've been searching for, I already have. Every prayer I've ever prayed has been answered.

It was a sacred space.

I was reminded, again, that so often we're caught up in the busyness of life at the expense of our spirits. As Neale Donald Walsch writes, "[L]life has nothing to do with what you are doing, and everything to do with what you are being. Be careful not to get caught in the 'doingness' of your life. That is not what you are here for. You are a sacred soul, and you came here to the earth to Be something." When we focus on what needs to be done, what should be done, or what everyone else is doing/ needs to do, we fail to give ourselves the space to just breathe.

But when we allow ourselves to pause, to be, to connect with God, our divine source, we create a sanctuary. Even if for just a few minutes -- one moment -- we allow ourselves to enter His rest. In the rest of God, our souls are stilled; and it is in the stillness that God speaks.

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. (1 Kings 19:11-13)

Enjoying life's journey

Recently, I have been reflecting on the saying, "life is a journey, not a destination."

I was having lunch with a friend who was intimately sharing with me some of the anxieties that have plagued her. Most of the fears she spoke about had to do with the future. She was caught up in trying to figure out the outcomes of various situations in her life.

Have you ever felt like that?

I shared with her my own journey to grow in trusting God with my relationships, my family, my finances, my career -- all the things He has destined me for. As I was reflecting on our conversation later in the evening, my spirit asked, am I so attached to the outcomes, the ending, that I am missing the process, the whole journey?

What if rather than looking at where I am not, I focused on where I am? I might realize that my life, right now, and every experience I am having is bringing me closer to my true self and to realizing all the things God has for me.  What a more joyous experience that would be! The fact is no man can discover anything about his future -- so what am I gaining by concentrating so much of my energy on how it is going to turn out? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

The question then becomes, how can I be present and enjoy life while on the journey?

Here are some things that I want to focus more on embedding in my everyday walk with God:

1) Stop resisting. Rather than fighting what may or may not be happening, be fully there in it. One of the ways I do this when I feel my body literally tightening up against something is to stop and begin to breathe. With each breath, I am reminding myself that I am here in this moment for a reason and that God is with me. In God I live and move and have my being. Breathing allows me to relax and open up to whatever is happening. Rather than letting my feelings overwhelm me, I can embrace them. Too often, we try to fight what we are feeling through denial but that just gives what we resist more power. We have to know what our burdens are in order to lay them down. As I breathe, I often will close my eyes and put my hand on my heart. By connecting with my heart, I am reminded of the God in me who loves me and who has designed all the days of my life. I am reminded that, with God there is no reason to fear, which is usually the cause of my resistance. The safety of that space allows me to feel my feelings. I allow each feeling to come and then I gently, prayerfully surrender them to God, thanking God for empowering me to overcome any obstacle or challenge that may come. This brings me to the next point…

2) Surrender. Akin to resisting, is to let go. Surrender whatever it is that you have been wrestling with to God. Let go and stay present with yourself, looking upon yourself with love and kindness and compassion. Remember that what you long for, what you need, and what will heal you is already yours, gifted to us from Him.

So often we are trying to hold on to a false sense of control when the most powerful thing we can do is to be still and know that He is God. When you do this, you will find that it’s not that the feelings, thoughts or situation will necessarily change - but your perception will! So many scriptures describe what happens when we trade our sorrow for the joy of the Lord:

• Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30).
• You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (Isaiah 26:3).
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Once you let go and seed your faith, just watch how God will move!

3) Show gratitude. Give thanks to the Lord! There are so many ways in which you can practice gratitude daily; including keeping a record/journal of all what you are thankful for, offering thanks verbally through prayer, or demonstrating kindness to those around you through acts of service.

Show gratitude by enjoying your life. Among the fruits of the spirit are joy; yet, so many people have never asked themselves the question, what brings me joy? Find the things that make you uniquely you and run with them. Delight in the gifts, people, opportunities He has given you. God gave us life -- how we dishonor Him by walking as the living dead. Rather than getting caught up in worry and anxiety about situations, we are invited to cast our cares on Him. This enables us to move on and take hold of what God has for us!

No matter what is happening in your life right now, each day, each moment is an opportunity for gratitude. We all know how to thank God when we perceive “good” things happening; but even those things that we feel distressed over should be cause for celebration. What we think as painful are often moments of great growth when God is preparing us for the next phase of our journey.

4) Last but not least, be confident! Remember who you are and who God is. Remind yourself of how God has consistently moved in your life. Do not underestimate the power of keeping a record – I guarantee God will come out on top! Last year, I created my own prayer box. I write specific prayers on a piece of paper and put it in a picture box I purchased – it is a symbolic way of physically releasing something to God. It’s amazing when I go back in the box and see how God has answered my prayer directly or made that prayer no longer relevant in my life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Be confident that God will do what He says He will do. Meditate on His word:

• God is our refuge and strength; an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:2-3).
• Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9).
• For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11).
• No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame. (Psalm 25:3a).
• Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6). 

Yes, life is the journey not the destination – and it’s a beautiful journey indeed! Below you can find some musical inspiration. Be blessed!